I currently live in San Francisco, in a teeny tiny apartment on a very steep hill. So last week when Nadine wrote about apartment etiquette for dummies, I had to laugh, because 1) she’s insanely funny, and 2) her suburban apartment etiquette sounds very different from that of San Francisco apartment etiquette. I’ve lived in this city for almost seven years, so I consider myself a bit of an expert when it comes to apartment living. For those of you living in cities, I thought I’d share with you my own list of etiquette rules.
Behold…
San Francisco Apartment Etiquette for Dummies!
2. That said, if you do get a therapy pet, don’t be an asshat and pretend that your animal is really a therapy animal, taking it places that pets are not supposed to be. It’s rude to those that really do need an assistance pet.
3. If you are one of the people blessed enough to have outdoor space such as a balcony, or, be still my heart, a yard, you are required to invite your friends over every. single. time. the weather is nice. It is an unspoken law.
4. Ooohing and aaahing and complimenting a friend’s apartment is expected. People pay a lot of money to live in this lovely city, and compliments make you feel that the cost is somewhat validated. I once told someone that her kitchen was so nice it was turning me on, and she told me that was the best compliment she had received all month.
5. Be friendly but not too friendly. Too friendly and you officially become the apartment creeper.
6. However, when someone says hello to you, say hello back. If you continue to stare silently, you will soon become known as the apartment sociopath.
7. You are only allowed to spy on your neighbors if they are prone to walking around naked with their blinds WIDE OPEN. In which case taking pictures and sending them to your friends is allowed.
8. Rent control is amazing, but because of it, getting anything fixed requires major badgering. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. So be squeaky.
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| views from my apartment and roof |
And to me, that makes it all worth it.
