- Ballroom dancing lessons
- Michael Buble concerts
- Calligraphy
- Personal enrichment courses
- Drinking because you actually like the flavor
- Not drinking
- Cruises
- Playing Bridge (what is Bridge? I just want to play games with my old lady friends)
- Getting socks as a gift
- Visiting Alaska
- Wanting a cell phone that has actual buttons
- Reading Nora Roberts novels
- Boldly farting in public and having no shame (probably because you didn’t even hear it)
- Having people drive you around all the time
- Going to dinner at 4:30pm
- Visiting the library
- Having a signature shade of lipstick in an obnoxious color
Basically old age looks super fun. Will you judge me if I start doing these things now? No? Good.