>>> If N isn’t around one weekend, report directly to your parents house. Your parents house is the only place you can get yourself a drink, eat someone else’s food with no shame, and get someone to check your oil and tires just because they love you. Kickin it with the folks is a damn good time.
>>> The easiest way to make money is to throw all your unused junk in the front yard and then pop open a beach chair, get yourself some sweet tea, and wait. They will come.
>>> Moving makes you crazy. You’re moving Thursday. Take a deep breath and try not to be a raging beyotch to N. You don’t have to unpack everything at the new place by Thursday night (but you will).
>>> When you are sitting your pasty white self in the shade at the pool, covered in SPF 50, you’ll be a little jealous of the tan people. Just keep telling yourself that you won’t be a wrinkly mess later in life because of it.
>>> Archie thinks your replica Harry Potter wand is a dog toy. He only wants to chew it because he’s upset that he hasn’t gotten his acceptance letter to Hogwarts yet.
>>> Think over Pinterest projects before you do them. Then don’t do them. You suck at crafts.
>>> If you wind up spending at least 10% of your life sitting in the backyard, chatting for hours on end with the people you love, consider it a success.