The other day N turned to me and said, “You know how I know I’m getting old? I don’t get Cardi B.” And I was like, “You’re right, you are old. Okrrr!” No but really, she confuses me but I’m fascinated by her. I don’t know.
Anyway, it got me thinking about all the current trends and life stuff that I just don’t get. There are a lot these days because apparently we’re really leaning in to being boring parents.
The other day I actually got kind of excited to just fold laundry while watching Grey’s Anatomy alone (I think the alone part is key here). On Saturday we left a party at 5:30pm because it was getting late. I regularly yell at people who roll stop signs in our neighborhood. You get it. We’re pretty far from where we were a few years ago and we don’t know how those people did life. Remember when we used to rage on Thursday nights? With work the next day?!
So here’s some stuff I just don’t get these days. Enjoy. Be offended. Agree with me. Whatever.
1. Green Banana eaters. I took a poll on Instagram the other day after my best friend went to the store to get a green banana TO EAT. Apparently 42% of you are complete monsters who agree with her that bananas should be eaten green. It’s like I’m living in the upside down world. I thought she was just being a pregnant weirdo.
2. Overalls on grown women. Listen, YOU DO YOU. If you want to wear overalls, wear overalls. I think they look good on some people. I am not one of those people. I’m probably wrong about this. My bestie told me literally two years ago that she wanted a camo t-shirt and I was like ew why? And then two months later every style blogger had one. So basically don’t listen to me on this. Buy overalls. Apparently they’re in style.
3. RVing around the country. Doesn’t it seem like everyone is doing this these days? Maybe I just follow a lot of RVers on Instagram. I love their pics but there is a 0% chance that I’d want to do this. Ever. I’ve driven across the country twice. That was enough for me. Spoiler: A lot (and I mean A LOT) of our country is just fields and fields of corn. I think this might be a thing that sounds cool in theory but actually means you’ll just see a lot of highways and also sleep a lot of Walmart parking lots.
4. Cleanses of any kind. You know what’s a great cleanse? Your liver. I did one before (oh hey 2012!). It was dumb.
5. Hunter boots. I have been confused by these from the second they became popular. You guys, they are rubber boots and they are over $100. FOR RUBBER BOOTS. No.
6. Gucci Belts. Can I just say? If you’re a fashion blogger wearing a Gucci belt, I’m not in your league. My league is like Old Navy with a side of Gap when I’m feeling fancy and Athleta when we get our tax return. So am I the only one who noticed how this very specific belt (not an affiliate link because of the yucky factor of knocking something and then trying to make money on it) has become wildly popular amongst the fancy fashion blogger crowd? There is nothing special about it except that it’s nearly $500. But it’s a great way to make sure everyone knows that you can do things like spend nearly $500 on a belt!
7. White booties. I would feel like I was going to a costume party. Most of the time if I see a fashion blogger wearing them I think she looks like she’s going to a costume party.
8. When individuals (read: Men) treat football games ON TV like they are actually playing in the game. Oh, the game starts at 1pm? Well you’re not playing in it so if we get home at 1:30pm literally nothing will happen. You can tell I’m the fun wife, right?
9. Footless PJs for infants/toddlers. They should all just have footies until at least size 3T. You aren’t supposed to let them sleep with blankets and even if I did, he’d never stay under it because he’s busy practicing being a windmill in his sleep so it would probably just wind up pushed in a corner. Footless PJs = cold feet or worse – parents having to put socks on babies. Just put footies on everything, okay?
And last but not least.
10. Why I’m a little bit sad that Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson broke up. I don’t know, guys. I was rooting for them. I deserve to be judged for this. HA.
Happy Tuesday, friends!
