I’ve been a vegetarian for a year an a half and in just three short days, I’ll be shoving my face with In-n-Out. Yes, it’s that good.
The classic east coast response to me gushing over In-n-Out has been, “have you tried 5 Guys?” Yes, I’ve tried 5 Guys and if you ever compare that grease nasty garbage to my beloved In-n-Out one more time, I’ll hold you down and make you listen to One Direction for a solid day.
If you’ve never gone hyphy and dumb then you didn’t grow up in Nor Cal. Although dear gawd I hope you never tried to ghost ride your whip. Some words just don’t work on the opposite coast. N makes fun of me every time I call the highway “the freeway”. Thanks to the gazillion tolls, it’s rarely free. So whip out your E-Z-Pass because even though you might visit three states today, it’s gonna cost ya.
Walk into nearly any bar south of Boston and expect to be swimming in a sea of button downs. In my experience, the further south you go, the more extreme this gets. I once went into a bar in Virginia and quickly left because the sheer quantity of tucked in oxford shirts exceeded my quota for the year. East coast guys spiff it up a bit more on a day to day basis. I’m generally a fan.
Other male observations:
-On any given night in New York City, there is an 83% chance you’ll meet an investment banker
-In Philly, the button downs are flannel and there is a 47% increase in the amount of hipsterness
-Every 50 miles you drive further south, the chance of a man tucking in his oxford increases by 8%
I guess it all comes down to personal preference. Because I’ve still got a little peace lovin, California hippie in me, there’s no winner! What’s right for you might not be right for me but in just one short day, I’ll be back in my hood, soaking up all the California I can.