I know what you’re thinking. I should hope that you are his only girlfriend! What does he have, multiple girlfriends? Nope. It’s just that I’m the only person who has ever been N’s girlfriend. I’m my boyfriends only girlfriend. Ever.
Today, I see this as a privilege. As a “bonus” to my already amazing boyfriend, I also have zero ex’s to deal with. He was a dating clean slate. I didn’t always feel this way.
Let’s start with a little background. When N was in high school, he was painfully shy. This continued through the beginning of college. He was (and is) a sweet, thoughtful guy. Girls loved him but usually not in that way. To put it bluntly, he was in the friend zone a lot. He also may or may not have been 30 pounds heavier than he is now. I’m not saying that’s a terrible thing. I’m just saying it probably didn’t help.
After his sophomore year of college, he hit the gym and lost a ton of weight. He got all fit and started eating healthy and wouldn’t you know? Girls started to notice him. But it took a while. He was still their friend N, and it wasn’t really until Senior year that girls started to show more interest. Sure, he dated casually. But never anything serious.
Fast forward to when we met, five months out of college. Still that shy guy, I had to force myself upon him. Don’t worry, he liked it. But it basically took me jumping up and down and waving a sign that said “I LIKE YOU” for him to be like “oh, she likes me”. Not really, but you get the idea. He just didn’t get it. It’s almost like he friend zoned himself, just by assuming that he was already in the friend zone. But I hadn’t put him in the friend zone, for obvious reasons (re: Persian good looks). So while we were friends for a few months, pretty soon we were friends who liked to make out. Now we are best friends, dog parents, roommates, and life partners.
None of this changes the fact that I’m still the only person who has been, or will ever be, N’s girlfriend. When we started dating this worried me. If he didn’t know what a normal relationship was like, how would he know if he liked being in a relationship with me? I had several serious boyfriends before N and I knew that what we had was great. Would he know for sure that what we had was great when he had nothing to compare it to? Turns out, when something is right, you know it. Whether you’ve experienced it before or not.
To quote N on the matter “I just know I got it right on my first try.” Touché, mister. Touché.
So I guess what I’d like to remind all the ladies out there in search of a guy is this: that guy that you put in the friend zone? He’ll probably be the best husband, and the best father. He’ll probably treat you the way you deserve to be treated. He’ll make you feel special. And he’ll feel lucky to be with you. And you will be lucky to be with him. Now when I look back, I wish that instead of dating the many, many jerks I have dated, that I had realized just how attractive and wonderful those guys I’d put in the friend zone actually were.