A Pony Named Darwin

Let’s be clear, I never want to grow up. Ever.I even wrote a post recently about how to look like you have your shit together.I didn’t say how to HAVE your shit together.Because that’s just not something I’m qualified to teach. I have however, looked to my future a time or two.I like what I see. But let’s dig a little deeper… When I grow up: Based on the amount of original songwriting I currently do, I’ll have completed a screenplay to the world’s worst musical ever written. My last name will make me sound Persian so when people meet me, they’ll be surprised I’m white. That’ll be hilarious. I’ll learn to love red wine. But for now, I’m keeping it real with my Chardonnay and Moscato.

Speaking of wine, when I grow up I’ll consider not taking advantage of $10 any bottle at my local bar and getting beligerent on a Wednesday. Maybe. I’ll also stop being such an uncoordinated jackass. Our dog, Archie, will be super well trained and will stop carrying my underwear into the living room before guests come over. He’ll also be a successful dog model. I’ve got the pics to back that up.

L.L. Bean, I’ll be waiting for your call.

A Target shopping spree won’t blow my monthly budget because, duh, Archie will be making the big bucks. I’ll learn how to put on eyeliner without having to use q-tips to fix all the places I effed it up. Kraft Mac and Cheese will no longer be an essential food group in my diet.

Don’t tell me this isn’t food porn. It is.

Naveed and I will have learned to pick up after ourselves We will have hired Merry Maids. By some miracle, my ladies will remain perky. If they go down, they’re going back up people! And I will have fulfilled one of my first childhood dreams: I’ll have a pony named Darwin.

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If you haven’t meet Lindsey from Follow the Ruels, you should head over there right now. Lindsey is a fellow California girl who has now made the east coast her home (North Carolina, to be exact). If you’re hungry, by no means should you check out this recipe for Roasted Garlic and Rosemary Twice Baked Potatoes. You’ll drool on your desk (like I just did). If that didn’t make you hungry, check out her whole list of recipes! Lindsey does some amazing tutorials and introduced me to two awesome sites to monitor prices of clothes online. She even wrote this post for me about the rules for working from home (okay, she didn’t write it just for me. But after working from home 3 days this week, I needed it). Now go visit Follow the Ruels and follow Lindsey on twitter! She’s bound to bring out your inner chef.

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