I was talking to my best friend recently on the phone. A moment in our friendship had occurred to me recently, though I’m unsure why.
It was senior year and during sorority recruitment. Laugh if you want, but recruitment meant long hours, lots of work, and no drinking. My best friend was VP Recruitment that year so she was running the show. I just had to show up and clap along to “Del-ta Delta Gamma, I’m so happy, that I am-a.”
And I remember toward the end of recruitment we came to blows about something and she said to me (crying, something she rarely does), “You know I just thought you’d be a better friend to me this week. More supportive.”
This certainly wasn’t the only time I was a shitty friend to her (Like prioritizing my boyfriend over of her most of senior year. God I hate myself for that.) but it’s the specific instance I remember most clearly.
I still talk to my bestie almost every single day. Usually she calls me on her way to work and we talk for nearly her entire 30-40 minute drive. Then we send each other people’s insta stories or posts (with commentary, obvi), basically the rest of the day. Plus links to all the things we want to buy and should talk each other out of buying but instead talk each other into buying (we’re super good for each other’s budgets JK LOL).
Anyway, when I shared this story with her, she laughed. She doesn’t even remember it happening.
But she had a story just like it, but reversed. One where she felt like a bad friend to me. Hers was funny to me too (partially because we were 20 and drunk and I barely remember it even happening and have thought of it all of 0 times since). That moment has stuck in her mind just as my moment did.
It’s a wonderful thing to be friends with someone for so long that you forget your fights. She’s done hundreds, probably thousands, of kind things for me over the last decade. She never forgets a birthday or life event. She is truly there for me and is always one of my first calls in good times, bad times, and most importantly, is always down to Facetime me from the Target dressing room. She’s one of the people I most admire and she’s the best friend I’ve ever had.
So I guess the whole “you are who you hang with” thing really worked out for me. I hope I’m like her.
I always think it’s funny when people say sororities are just buying friends. I could never put a price on our friendship but if I did, I’m certain it would be much, much higher than what my sorority dues were. I’m grateful every day that a “process of mutual selection” (thanks panhellenic) brought us together.
Happy Birthday Kaylin. I’ll never forget that you’re one of my life’s greatest blessings.