1. Embarrassing signature dance move. My mom has her move, I’ll have mine. It looks like this, but with a lot more flailing (if you can imagine).
2. Use of the middle name as punishment. I will take this one step further and give my kids embarrassing middle names. How about a strong family name like Elmira? Dead serious.
3. Anytime we were at an asian restaurant, my step-dad would stick the chopsticks either A. up his nose or B. in his mouth, walrus style. This was hilarious until I was about 12. Then it was embarrassing (and yet he kept doing it). Add this to the list, I’ll certainly do it too.
4. When dropping me off somewhere, occasionally my Mom would roll down the window and yell “Make good decisions!” I’m fairly certain she stole this from somewhere but it works well on high school age kids. Doing it.
5. My Mom was also delighted in rolling down the windows and singing Carly Simon at the top of her lungs. But what if someone in the car next to us at a red light knows me!? Kill me. Swap out the Carly Simon for some 90’s Mariah Carey and I’ll be good to go.
6. Straight up steal Bill Cosby lines and, right when something sassy would slip out of my mouth, my Mom would respond with “I brought you in to this world, I can take you out!” Solid threat. Yup, using that one.
7. On the note of punishment and life lessons, I was a big fan of the meltdown and screeching “But that’s not fair!” to which my Dad would reply “LIFE ISN’T FAIR.” So. True. Thanks for the real world prep, Dad.
8. My mom answers the phone, without fail, with “Nay, are you there?” You answered after two rings. Where else would I be? You know you slid the green button and answered the phone, right? Love you Mom. Yes, I’m here.
9. Displaying affection in front of each other. Ever. Ohhh my gawwdd staahhpppp. You like each other? Oh yes, we’ll do this too. Lots of this.
Now, those of you who are parents and those of you who have parents, got anything to add to this list? Let’s hear ’em.