This weekend I reached in the medicine cabinet for a bottle of nail polish and instead, knocked down another bottle and sent it shattering all over the bathroom. Glass and nail polish everywhere.
Somehow, this was not the worst mess I made this week. That honor goes to the maple syrup (in a glass bottle, naturally) that I dropped in the kitchen, thereby making the most impressive mess of any mess I’ve ever made. Tiny shards of glass stuck in maple syrup all over the kitchen.
It’s times like these when I’m forced to consider that perhaps I suck at life. It’s when N reminds me, “at least you keep things interesting.” Sure, let’s go with that.
The blog world is really on a positivity kick lately and frankly, some days it’s irritating as hell. I’m a really positive person (I’m serious, I smile a freaking lot) and it’s still too much for me. Suddenly it feels like you can’t just be a “lifestyle blogger”, you have to be a “positive lifestyle blogger”.
Well hey, I blog about my life and sometimes life is super great and sometimes it’s not.
So today, let’s go a little opposite and I’m going to share some things I still don’t know, many of which I should have learned years ago. I don’t feel wise enough to share life wisdom. I just don’t. I’m only 27, after all. So here are 27 things I still don’t know…
1. How to peel an apple in one long curl. Damn you, Meg Ryan, for making me think this is possible.
2. That if you are on your last roll of toilet paper, you have to buy more that same day.
3. Whether you are or aren’t supposed to eat the white stuff on the outside of Brie cheese.
4. How to parallel park. I’ve lived in the city for 6 months now so avoiding this is an impressive accomplishment.
5. How to call Comcast and have a rational conversation that involves zero yelling. I promise, they are the only people I verbally abuse.
6. How to take constructive criticism as just that – constructive. I prefer to take everything super personally.
7. Added by N – How to make a playlist that doesn’t suck. I’d be pissed but he’s not wrong.
8. How to resist the urge to wear leggings instead of real pants. Leggings always win. Always.
9. How to become one of those people who likes working out. Or at least, how to believe people when they tell me they love working out. Mmmhm. Sure you do.
12. Why I like Coke better than Pepsi. I just do. And remember – I can tell the difference.
15. How to apply eyeshadow. I KNOW. Basic stuff, can’t do it. My Naked 2 Palatte is wasted on me.
17. How to become the person who drinks their coffee black. So hardcore.
18. The spelling of words with “ie” or “ei” in the middle. You can bet every time I use the word weird, I’ve tried it as wierd too, just to see if it looked well, weird.
21. Why I never ever leave enough time to finish getting ready in the morning, leaving me running in to work with a full face of makeup, minus the mascara. The mascara is the most important part!
22. On that note, why I’m perpetually 3 minutes late to everything. Always.
23. Why people with New Jersey plates are 63% more likely to cut you off in traffic.
24. How people can not like Harry Potter. This includes my lovely fiance. It’s obviously one of our biggest differences of opinion. I am completely right and he is completely wrong.
27. Which is which: astronomy/astrology. I know, it just takes me a minute and I’m never 100% confident I’m saying the right one.
Oh, did I skip a few numbers in there? I had good intentions but you know, as I got started I realized that the list of things I don’t know is infinitely long. It’s okay, at least I didn’t overwhelm you with too much positivity.
In other news, I CAN’T WAIT FOR TOMORROW. See you back here at 7am?