Yesterday marks two years that I’ve been doing this blogging thing.
In a way, I feel about my blog the way I feel about Archie (though I don’t love it nearly as dearly). It’s just that, I don’t really remember what my day-to-day life was like before I was coming to this place. I’ve been blogging for most of my relationship. For the entire time I’ve been at my current job. It’s been a part of my day as long as I’ve lived in my current apartment. It’s so built-in to my routine that I sometimes forget that this isn’t something other people do.
When I think back about why I started this blog, it is far from why I blog now. I started because I was bored at my corporate job. I had never thought of myself as a creative person but suddenly, I needed an outlet to be using my brain for something other than mindless spreadsheets. I also desperately needed to connect with people. After moving from California to the East Coast, I suddenly knew no one. With friends 3,500 miles away, I got lonely. I craved female friendship. I had no idea where to begin to make friends as a real grown up.
Now I’ve managed to build a life here. I have friends (though not as many as I’d like). I live close to my family. I have a solid relationship. I have Archie (obviously
the best thing to ever happen to me just kidding N, that’s you). I don’t depend on my blog for that connection anymore, although I do enjoy it.
Sometimes I think about what motivates me to keep doing this. Is it an ego thing? Maybe a little. Getting a comment that someone likes what you wrote feels good. Is it a money thing? Meh, a little extra spending money doesn’t suck. But it has to be more than both of those things to stick it out and to want to keep going. I just can’t put my finger on what it is. I like being here. I like attempting to entertain. I like writing silly articles and being able to look back on what I did in years past. I like the documentation of it all.
I read somewhere recently that our generation is the most narcissistic ever, with our obsessive need to document our daily lives (or that’s a movie line from Easy A). I’m a part of that. I’m contributing to that. I’m simultaneously embarrassed and amused. I often wonder how long I can keep up with this. Will I run out of things to talk about? Maybe. Will I just get bored of it? Perhaps. But for now, I want to be better. I want this space to grow and thrive and continue to bring joy to my life. And hey, if today’s post is a dud, there’s always tomorrow.