I’ve had terrible insomnia lately. I can’t get comfortable and I just lay in bed and read for hours after N has gone to sleep. And that’s when it starts, the boys creeping on to my side of the bed. One stretch, one or two re-adjustments and suddenly I’ve got 1/6 of the bed space and getting comfortable is out of the question.
No one tells you that someday you’ll hit a point in your relationship where sure, you’ll cuddle occasionally, but mostly when you are trying to get some much-needed shut-eye you’ll just want your partner to STAY ON THEIR SIDE OF THE DAMN BED.
Obviously I refuse to move either Archie or N because I love them too much, so naturally I sleep (or attempt to sleep) like a contortionist.
This was one of the things that no one ever told me about relationships. Because I want to be fair about this, I’ve let N (the live-in boyfriend/life partner/dog father) write half of this post.
What no one told us about long-term relationships:
That you would make me be a part of blog posts.
Your personal hobbies become secondary to spending time with the other person. (Me: You didn’t think that would happen? – Him: I didn’t think it would happen to the extent that it has.)
We eat out a lot more than I thought we would because it’s an excuse to do something together.
That three years in, you’d still hate the way I drive. And tell me every single time.
We’ve slowly developed the same habits and lifestyle. A partnership, I guess.
I would say that when you’re with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you slowly realize the type of person you are in a relationship. I’m more touchy feely than I realized.
You pick up small things that your significant other does that you would never notice in another person. You get a read on them faster.
If you are subtle, you can slowly get your significant other to like the same stuff you like. Like tech stuff and sci-fi movies. Subtle is key.
I had no idea how many electronics a girl could have in a bathroom. (apparently in man speak, straighteners/curling irons/blow dryers are electronics)
I never thought I would wear my retainer in front of a guy. I’m wearing my retainer while I type this and N rocks a bite guard ever night. Sexy.
This might sound weird but we fight less than I thought people in relationships fight. Maybe that’s based on my past relationships (i.e. not that good)?
I didn’t think about the fact that having a boyfriend who is also my roommate means we have to deal with roommate stuff too. Emptying the dishwasher is now a romantic gesture.
I didn’t realize how hard integrating finances would be. To this day, we still haven’t figured it out. I do most of the grocery shopping, he pays when we eat out. We’ve thought about getting a joint checking and just dumping all the money in one place but it just doesn’t make sense for us yet. How do other couples integrate finances?
We go to bed differently, which is an ongoing issue. Who knew that how we fall asleep could be a relationship issue? I like to read for a good long while before falling asleep. He would rather have complete darkness and silence. I used to be a TV before bed person and I’ve weaned myself off of it. My reading light still bothers him. One of these days he is going to buy me a Kindle Paperwhite just to selfishly solve this problem.
Some part of me realizes that if I’m a sucky girlfriend today (hey, I have my moments) that I’ve got a lifetime to try to be better. I should try harder every single day but something about the long-term commitment can make me lazy.
We actually high 5 about a lot of stupid stuff. Cleaned out our cars? High 5. Got quarters to do laundry? High 5. Still like each other after 3 years? High 5.
Somewhere along the way, I started reminding N that he’s my favorite person in the world. I probably tell him that more than I say I love you but I think it’s a good reminder. We also tell each other “I like you” in silly voices. Speaking of silly voices…
We have way more inside jokes than I ever thought two humans could have. Silly voices, phone call routines, and a million other things we’d never do in front of anyone else. It’s pretty fun.
That pretty much sums it up. It’s damn fun. We don’t have it all figured out. We probably never will. I never want to make my relationship seem perfect (it isn’t). But it’s pretty damn good.
In other news, it might be obvious from this post that we’re on a Friday Night Lights kick. I sure do love N, but he’s lucky Tim Riggins is a fictional character…
What did no one tell you about long-term relationships?