The REAL Skinny Jeans

Before skinny jeans, there were skinny jeans. 

These jeans had absolutely nothing to do with the actual cut of the jeans. Skinny jeans were the jeans you could only only wear on your skinniest day. 

I have about three pairs of pants that I just can’t wear. 

One pair I haven’t worn in at least 5 years. Another did not even belong to me, but was a hand-me-down from my itty bitty college roommate. The last was a desperate Goodwill purchase as “inspiration.” Note to self: This type of “inspiration” will never work. Ever. And you’ll have less room in your drawers for clothes that actually do fit.


I will probably (still holding out hope) never wear any of these pants.

The pants are all used about twice a year for measuring purposes. I wait for the day when I’ve worked out two days in a row, get real gutsy, and slide on a pair. 

Do they still fit? If yes, I take them off, and put them back in the drawer. And this…


If no, I huff and puff, take them off, and put them back in the drawer. And this…


Then I tell Naveed that I’m going on a diet where I eat healthy, actually get the proper nutrition and enjoy a salad at least once a day. He nods his head and tells me I’m beautiful no matter what. I throw a fit that he has to say that. 

Then later we get pizza. 


I’m pretty sure every woman has some article of clothing like this. What’s yours?

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