The Panic and the Plane Ticket

Yesterday morning I was walking in circles in the backyard, waiting for Archie to do his business (and kid was dilly dallying for sure). The longer he took, the more I just knew I would be late for work.

I was thinking too much, missing Kaylin, and in about 30 seconds flat I went from a little off to completely losing it. The more my mind raced, the more I wanted to scream, run, drink too much, travel, get away, and most importantly, be young.

Who is this person I have become? I’m so normal. Not a compliment in my book. My Monday’s thru Friday’s all look the same. I watch too much TV. We walk the dog, cook dinner, sit on the couch. And while 98% of the time I’m truly a happy person, in that moment I looked around and was just so bored. And I hated myself for it.

What happens when your life is the opposite of spinning out of control? It’s too in control. I’ve made too many responsible decisions. I rarely let my impulses take over, despite being an innately impulsive person.

For the first time in my life, the panic attack had nothing to do with the plane. Naturally I did what any girl would do mid-meltdown: called my bestie. Homegirl talked me off the ledge but couldn’t stop my from showing my truly impulsive colors.

Three years after leaving, I bought a plane ticket to California.

On a whim. On a random Wednesday. For no reason but the fact that I needed to, right in that moment.

I even went all out and got a direct flight. Based on the news recently and the fact that I’m flying into San Francisco, I’m gonna go ahead and pat myself on the back for being so brave. We all know flying is not my favorite.

Once I’m safely landed, I’m going to do the following things in the following order:

1. Hug Kaylin and cry, jump up and down, and cry some more
2. Report directly to In-n-Out Burger and eat *gasp* meat for the first time in a year and a half. I have said from the very beginning of my vegetarianism that if I went back to California I’d eat In-n-Out. It’s too good for guilt.
3. Rage. Rage some more. Be young. Be stupid.

And I. Cannot. Wait.

Until then I’ll just be in a competition with myself to see how soon Naveed wants to kill me for singing The O.C. theme song at the top of my lungs.


Today it’s my pleasure to re-introduce you to Sara from Pearls and Curls. Sara was just talking about how she might be having a quarter life crisis so I feel like we’re in the same boat this week. She’s a ESFJ which explains why she’s got so many friends in the blog world. Extrovert, anyone? She was even brave enough to share with us the time that she flew off the end of the treadmill. Yes, that really happened.

If you haven’t entered the cash money giveaway she’s having with a couple of my other favorites (Venus included), you should. Or actually, you shouldn’t. Because I’m gonna need to win to be able to live it up in SF. You can read more about Sara or check her out on Bloglovin or say hi on Twitter.

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