The Fault in Our Stars + Me Weeping

SPOILERS: There are spoilers of major plot points in this post. If you haven’t finished the book or want to be surprised by the movie, don’t read!

I’ve just returned home from seeing The Fault in Our Stars so it’s safe to say, I’M FEELING ALL THE FEELS.

The Fault in Our Stars Movie Poster

Here’s some commentary.

N was one of three guys in the theater. We also might have been the oldest people there. Here is how he felt about it.

If you liked the book, you’ll like the movie. The actors were perfectly casted (perfectly. I can’t even describe how very Augustus, Augustus was). The movie was exactly what I thought, and hoped, that it would be. It was beautiful, warm, heavy and affecting.

I discovered during this movie that my left eye tears significantly more than my right. You’d think I’d been dumped cried enough in my life to have figured that one out by now but NOPE. Took a tear-jerker of a movie.

Tear-jerker is a gross understatement. You will cry more in this movie than any other movie you’ve ever seen. It puts A Walk to Remember, the first 15 minutes of Up, Forrest Gump, Pay It Forward and yes, even Marley & Me, to SHAME. So many tears.

There are moments during the movie where it’s intentionally silent or very quiet. During that time, the sound of dozens of people weeping was overwhelmingly audible. You could also hear Godzilla in the next theater.

The Fault in Our Stars Quote #TFIOS

This is my favorite quote from the book and the movie. In a hundred lifetimes, I don’t know that I could ever describe the feeling of falling in love better than John Green has. The love scene that contains this quote was one of the most well-done, tender, and purposeful love scenes I’ve ever seen. I could feel my heart in my chest. It’s also not so graphic that you feel awkward sitting in a crowded theater.

At one point, I’ve got tears just running down my face. Endless streams. And N just turns and is staring at me. Naturally, I snap, “STOP STARING AT ME.” Like, what is that? Like he wanted to hug me but there was an arm rest situation and so instead he just stared at me with this sad pity face.

When we left the theater, N says to me “I don’t think I’ve ever been around so many crying women before.” Astute observation and also mildly creepy.

If you read one thing from this post, let it be this. 

One month ago, I attended a funeral for a beautiful 18-year-old young woman who died of Osteosarcoma, the same cancer that our fictitious Augustus died of. My heart was heavy going in to this movie, knowing that with every tear, I’d be thinking of her. You can hear Miranda’s story here, straight from her (definitely watch it if you are Christian and want proof of a miracle). She is missed and she is so loved.

Augustus and Hazel’s stories are not just fiction. This week, 49 kids in the US will die of childhood cancer. That’s two classrooms worth of kids. When you weep for Augustus and Hazel, weep for them too. Because those kids will still be dying long after the popularity of this book and movie fades. Please keep these kids in mind when you consider which charities to support.

If you can’t give, consider joining the Bone Marrow Registry. I know several children whose lives have been saved by bone marrow transplants from unrelated bone marrow donors. Saving someones life is the ultimate gift.

It’s also important to note that bone marrow matches are often between those with similar ethnic backgrounds. “According to the World Donor Marrow Association, while two out of three Caucasians find a match, the chances of a patient from another ethnic background can be as low as one in four” (source). It’s even less for someone with a multicultural background. Please keep this in mind and encourage everyone, and especially those of multicultural heritage, to join the registry.

I hope that was informative without being too preachy.

On that note, I’m off to hug Archie and try to get my emotions in check.

Have you seen The Fault in Our Stars yet? What did you think?

  • I loved this book and I must see the movie! I can’t wait!

  • I haven’t seen the movie yet, but my roommate and I are planning on going early next week. And you’re right – I think a lot of us reading this book and seeing this movie are crying over the fictional characters, but not over the real people they represent. It still feels like fiction even though we know that it’s not. When I’m in a place that I know I can afford to donate, I want to be able to do it for an association that supports childhood cancer.

    • Thank you! In the meantime, check out the Bone Marrow Registry. It’s just a cheek swab to add you to the registry. I hope you enjoy the movie!

  • I’ve got to read this book.

  • I’m going to see it tomorrow. Thank you for reminding us that while their story is fictional, it is all too real for too many children.

  • The commercials alone make me weep haha!

    • Right? I knew it would be brutal for that reason. I could not make it through the commercials at all.

  • So much to say. I’m terrified now to see this movie. Mainly because I was going to make my husband take me, but I have a feeling he will hate me if I do? I haven’t read the book yet because like with Divergent, I got so upset by the story changing. This book seems so special that I didn’t want it ruined.

    Marly & Me is the movie that is always my most gut-wrenching movie. Anytime I watch it, I just cry for like an hour.

  • Signing up for the Bone Marrow Registry now. I’ve been on the site before but just never went through with it.

    You know my reasons why I’m doing this.

  • Mel

    I’m only halfway through the book (wanted to read it before watching the movie) so had no idea Augustus dies. Guess I need to mentally prepare myself as I continue to read! This is a very powerful post, but you do give away a major plot point 🙁

    • GAH! I’M SO SORRY. I feel terrible that I just spoiled it for you. I’ve added a spoiler notice at the very beginning of the post.

  • I just sobbed. It was out of control. I’ve read it twice, second time was probably worse because I felt even more attached to the characters. My middle schoolers LOVE this book & are all chomping at the bit to go see it. Not gonna lie, me too.

  • lex

    I haven’t read the book but I’m a sucker for a tear-jerker movie!! Should I read it before I see the movie?!

  • OMG i can’t wait. I’m glad I’ll like it if I read the book- that was a major concern. I’m wondering if I should wait til it comes out on DVD since there were so many weeping people.

  • TFIOS is probably the novel I’ve related most to in years, I can’t wait to see it and I’m nervous all at once. This post alone made me tear up a little so I know I will be an absolute wreck.

  • Loved the book and that quote. Can’t wait to see the movie. Glad you put a little note in there to remind us that it’s not just a story.

  • Oh my word. I saw the movie last night and sobbed through most of it. I ugly cried while reading the book so when they first said a movie was being made I knew it would be everything I wanted it to be. They did such a great job telling the story!

  • I loved this book. So much. The movie was great. But I have to admit that Augustus didn’t appear the way I pictured him. Granted I don’t think he is much of a Caleb Prior anymore either. However, as much as he didn’t look like AW to me, he sure acted like him completely. I didn’t cry, but I think it’s because the theater full of crying 15 year old kind of threw off the mood when they cried at literally every part. Or theater gave us posters and bracelets so I call it a win.

  • I just LOVE how you tied this in – it truly is important and i remember seeing that the author did write the story based on such facts.

    Also, I may wait to see this til I can rent it so i can bawl at home vs. in public.

    • Well if you bawl in the theater, you won’t be alone. I promise. I’ve never been around so many people sobbing so loudly.

  • Mia

    I haven’t read the book yet, but my sister has been demanding I do it before we go see the movie sometime next week.

    I work in the healthcare field, and saw several children in the outpatient setting with different types of leukemia, as well as adults. Working with these patients every day for a couple of months…as much empathy as I had, I couldn’t imagine what they and their friends and family were going through. Shortly after my last oncology rotation ended, my best friends’ 2 yo child was diagnosed with leukemia and it was a kick in the pants. All of a sudden I was part of the family that waited in the room for doctors to round and give us lab results, and held her hand during times they were accessing the port and comforting her parents. It is a completely different experience. And it was the push I needed to go through with actually registering in the Bone Marrow Registry. I had always seen the hope and excitement on patient’s faces when they were told they had a donor (if they needed one), but I wasn’t too fond of the idea of having a bone marrow biopsy. Having it become personal changed all that.

    Thank you for taking the time to advocate for these kids!

    • Certainly donating bone marrow doesn’t sound fun but the pain that donors experience is such a small amount compared to what the patients are experiencing. It’s even worse when it’s kids. I’m so sorry to hear about your best friends child. Thank you for being on the bone marrow registry!

  • I’m going to see this tonight–I can’t wait! And thank you thank you thank you for drawing attention to the fact that this isn’t just a fictional story, and that people can help.

    • I’m happy to do it. My hope is that one day we’ll find a cure and this will all be a thing of the past. Until then, there are families fighting every day.

  • I’m planning on seeing it this weekend! Tonight is my dad’s birthday (he’s Turing 80!!!!) so we’re hanging out with him. But he goes to be really early, so maybe I’ll see if I can catch a late show. (I’m hoping not many Tweens will be up that late… But it’s Friday… And summer… So probably not.) but I can’t wait, even though I’ll weep. And I can’t imagine doing your job. You have such a big heart for those kids and I admire how you can be there for them. Although, I felt a connection to the book too. I don’t have cancer, so I can’t relate on that level. But as a kid with a disability and practically being raised in hospitals and doctors offices, there were definitely elements of TFioS I could completely connect to. I’m so excited to see the movie!

    • Did you see it? What did you think?

      • It was so wonderful! They did a fantastic job! Can I go again? Obviously I”m an emotional masochist to want to put myself through it again.

  • Meighan

    I can’t even. Just the book had me so torn up I couldn’t stand it. I love Shailene and she just really does no wrong. I have been looking forward to this movie for soooo long! I know the foundation and the kids you work with are so important to you. I’m sorry for your loss. 🙁

    • They are but I’m so lucky to have known Miranda and to know all the special kids that I know. I just hope that this movie raises awareness and makes more people want to DO something to fight childhood cancer.

  • I’ve told John about 10 times today that we are going to go see this as soon as we can. I know that I am going to ugly cry throughout the whole movie, but that’s okay.

    • Everyone else will be to so you’ll fit right in 😉

  • I read the book and am waiting for my husband to go out of town to go see this. I know your work with child cancer patients must have made this movie that much more emotional and personal. If it doesn’t get said enough, thank you for all you do for them and their families.

    • It definitely made me more emotional but I think I would have been crying either way. And thank you so much for your kind words. I am lucky to do what I do.

  • I went and saw it yesterday afternoon. Of course, there is no true way for a movie to live up to a book and the way you’ve created it in your head but I thought it was beautifully done. I think its great that you’re using the movie review as a way to remind people that its a very real situation and how they can help 🙂 I’m already a registered Bone Marrow donor, they have sign ups at all of the concerts at Red Rocks which I think is a great way to get people to sign up!

    • Thank you and thank you for being a registered bone marrow donor! I’m so happy to hear they have sign ups at concerts. I’ve run a couple drives at college events and I know several kids who are alive today because of an unrelated bone marrow donation. You can’t even imagine how grateful these kids parents are.

  • I agree, the movie was SO fantastic, and they did really well with the cast and everything- there were a lot more comedic parts than I thought there would be which made it that much better. Whenever my boyfriend would look over at me, I would wave for him to stop- I hate people seeing me tear up/cry! My boyfriend also made a comment about all the crying women- and there were A LOT of pre-teens/young teens there, so they were a bit annoying throughout the movie with their comments.

    • We had a lot of teens/pre-teens in our movie theater also and they “awww”ed and clapped and it was a little obnoxious. But the fact that they were all crying made me feel a little less awkward sobbing.

  • Taylor

    Cancer sucks, but this post is really great. I haven’t seen the movie or read the book but I plan to do ASAP!

    • Thank you. Definitely read the book and then see the movie. The book will take you like a day to read. I couldn’t put it down.

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