Taking Flight

Remember that fear I shared with you here?
Yup, I have a long way to go before reaching my 30 before 30
I’m still terrified of flying and don’t seem to be getting less scared as time goes on.

Today, I’m flying to Indianapolis for a conference. 
*Any Indianapolis ladies out there want to tell me where to eat/shop/amuse myself? That would be super helpful!*

So here I am, sitting in the airport.
We all know I got here 2 1/2 hours early. 
Then I have time to go through all of my neurosis by myself. 

Like, would the name and numbers of my flight sound good on the news?
Remember TWA flight 800? It really just rolled off the tongue.
I like my flights to be good and choppy sounding.
That’s how you know that it won’t sound good on the news.
Because hopefully you’ll get there safely and it will never be on the news.

I sit at the gate and very calmly look around. 
And then think loudly in my head
Everyone looks normal and just going about their day to day business. 
Reading. Playing with their iPhone. 
It seems like everyone else is relaxed and just amusing themselves til we board.
While I am must freaking out internally and judging them for being so calm.
I’m envious of them for their ability to be calm. 
For their lack of fear.

Let me just remind everyone,
I know this fear is completely ridiculous. 
But right now in life, I really feel content.
I have this wonderful guy and our little pup and a huge, wonderful family.
And really I’m just so scared of losing it all.
It almost makes flying worse now that I feel so content.
Does that makes sense?
I’m happy. And that makes the scary stuff scarier.

So before I get on this flight, Ill focus on my guys. And be reminded of how thankful I am to have these two in my life.

Follow me on instagram @backeastblonde. All puppy. All the time.
Wish me luck!
Or rather, pray for the person sitting next to me, that they may not have my crying on their shoulder the entire time.


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