Once Upon a Celebrity


You know, the many times I visited LA, I didn’t love it (that’s a nice way of putting it). So it startled me when I came across a blogger who not only lives in LA but makes it sound like a fabulous place. It makes me wonder, did I judge LA to harshly?

Jillian is a writer, a real writer (cause most days, I don’t feel like a real writer). She’s currently finishing up her MFA in Writing for Screen and Television. I know, WOW. Which explains exactly why her posts are so phenomenal. Why every story is so easy to read. Why I keep coming back for more. And she recently said “LA is an effing rock star a lot lately.” Perhaps she’ll convince you to love LA. She’ll definitely convince you to love her.

Take it away, Jillian.

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Nearly two years ago I up and packed my bags and moved to LA, my heart full of dreams, my head full of imagined celebrity run-ins.

I’m a bit of a romantic (read: I place such crazy expectations on my life I am often crippled by reality) and my ideas of La La Land and famous people were a bit naive…to say the least.

I was sure that by living in Malibu my life would be a whirlwind of “Hey Portia, tell Ellen I said hello” and exchanging knowing smiles with Tom Hanks when a super-fan at Starbucks boomed “TALL, DECAF, CAPPUCCINO!”

I was sure I would at least once talk to Julia Roberts about knitting and smiling and Richard Gere’s wishy washy accent.

I was sure of so many things.

Last week I finished up classes for my MFA in Writing for Screen and Television from Pepperdine University. This beautiful little chapter in my life devoted to full-time writing and TV watching is rapidly drawing to a close, and as I reflect on the possibility of leaving LA I can’t help but imagine all the celebrity encounters that might have been.

And so, for your entertainment, and my deep desire to make up stories, I present, my top four “I wish I had run into them in LA” celebrities and how I imagine those meetings would have gone.

Read: LA is kind of the greatest.

1. David Beckham

David is obviously at the top of this list as David is obviously at the top of life. One of my professors recently said she wanted David to decorate her living room and now I just can’t that glorious visual out of my head. What a living room!

I imagine I would run into David on the beach. He, holding a surfboard, me wearing a non-pretentious cover-up that conveyed both personality and sass. He would smile, sensing a connection, but things wouldn’t go too far. WE BOTH RESPECT VICTORIA. We would lock eyes, wistfully thinking about what might have been in another life under other circumstances. On my deathbed I would yell, “It was always David!”

2. Stevie Nicks

My meeting with Stevie would take place in some ultra-hippy, possibly communal restaurant where we sat on the floor and vibed with the universe. (Obviously.) Stevie and I would discuss life, love, and the pursuit of proper hair products. (There has to be a secret to those curls, there just has to be.)

We would also get down to business—what’s her favorite line in Dreams? When did the “witch” label come about? Exactly how much is she in love with Lindsey Buckingham this very minute? Sigh. I get excited just thinking about it.

3. Scott Disick

I would meet Scott at Duke’s in Malibu. He would be drunk (Scott!) and at the bar, holding court. “Let me buy you a drink! Join us!” he would say, in that thick New York accent of his. I would spend the afternoon listening to Scott tell increasingly outlandish stories. At the end of brunch we would go our separate ways, he to a scolding Kourtney, me to my computer, where I would create a new blog entitled “My encounter with Scott Disick. One post per minute in his presence.” The blog would be a runaway hit. I would quit my day job and move to Prince Edward Island. Scott would have another baby with Kourtney.

4. Oprah

I would glimpse Oprah at a gas station in Hollywood. She would be in a limousine (obviously) and someone else would be filling it up (obviously). I would pay attention to the car only because of the intimidating security guards and the general aura of self-fulfillment coming from its very core. Just as I was getting curious enough to try to sneak a peek in the car, Oprah would roll her window down and give me a small wave. I would take that moment and turn it into a new life for myself, a life of fulfillment and inner peace and chai tea. When people asked me what changed, why I was a drastically different person, I would just say, “Oprah” and leave it at that.


For more of Jillian, pop over to her blog, Jillian Lorraine, or follow her on Bloglovin or Twitter.

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