How to Lose Weight the Stupid Way

I wish I could say that when I lose weight I do it the healthy way.
Eating right and working out.
If calories out > calories in you lose weight.
We get it.

I’ve lost a couple pounds recently.
Other people wouldn’t notice but I do.
It makes me a little happy to see the number on the scale decrease.
But I know in my heart I’m not doing it the right way.
(No, this isn’t some eating disorder confession, promise)

Totally unrelated photo of the worlds cutest dog. Doesn’t he look like he’s smiling?

I haven’t worked out since 2012. True story.
So last month Naveed and I paid $84 to not go to they gym one time.
Hey, if neither of us goes there’s no judgement, right?

I work 11-6, straight through. I’m a lucky duck, eh?
The hours are great but somehow I’ve never gotten into 
food groove since I left the corporate world.
So here’s how to lose weight the stupid way:

Drink coffee all morning.
Two to three cups minimum.
Hang out with your dog, watch Kelly and Michael, and of course, read blogs.
Then at 10:30, run around like a crazy person to get to work on time.
In a desperate moment before you leave, grab these items (or items like these) from your pantry:

  • entire box of cereal
  • applesauce cup
  • 3 caramels
  • 1 baby can of Coca-cola
  • 1 bottle of water
Not quite healthy and balanced, right?
Then munch on something like Quaker Oat Squares on and off all day.
And ineveitably, when you get home you will be ravenous.
Then go ahead and whip up something fast, easy, and way too decadent.
(Think cheese, cheese and more cheese)
Pizza anyone? How about grilled cheese? 

The thing is, eating like this makes it hard to get enough calories.
And I swear, after a certain point of hunger you just stop being hungry.

The bottom line: I forget to plan to eat.
And as a result I just haven’t been eating enough.
So hey, I’m down a few pounds.
But I’m not necessarily happy about it. And I’m not proud of it.

There you have it. How to lose weight the stupid way.
I don’t recommend it. 

And here’s where you can help. Do you have any quick grab and go meal suggestions? 
Is there some item I should just keep in my fridge at all times?
Help a girl out!


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