Forgive her. Her brain isn’t fully developed.

With all this Miley stuff floating about the interwebs, for a second I thought it would get up on my high horse. 

I watched the performance. I felt weirdly amused, violated, and shocked, but I definitely couldn’t look away. My very first thoughts were: 

Doesn’t she realize she’s going to be someones wife
Doesn’t she realize someday she’ll probably be someones mom

I always wonder about celebrities like Pamela Anderson, who has two sons and umpteen naked pictures of herself on the Internet, in magazines, and even a porno with their dad. What’s it like to have a mom who for years was only portrayed in a highly sexual way? What’s it like for your friends to be able to easily find all of this?

So as Miley was grinding on many a teddy bear I just kept thinking….doesn’t she realize

Definitely my favorite part. Invisible hair?

And then I thought this: What if all of my bad choices were publicly broadcast for the world to see? What if there had been videos of me doing anything that I did in college on a Friday or Saturday night? That’s not to say I did terrible terrible things but I can guarantee you I did a few things that would make my mother cringe. And she’s pretty chill about my shenanigans.

Way before we had the buzz cut Miley, we had Disney Miley who had video released of her smoking something she said was legal Salvia. We all know it wasn’t and anyone has ever done it knows exactly what it was. We knew there was a chance that this Miley was coming. She made that even more obvious with her “Can’t Be Tamed” video. She’s young, she’s experimenting. Isn’t that what I did too? 

If anything I think this is solid proof that the human brain is not fully developed until age 25. That’s science right there, not speculation. 

I’m not saying don’t judge Miley, because she put it out there for us to absolutely judge, but I am saying really think about what it would be like if everything you did was on video and consider your life choices at her age. I got my belly button pierced (because my Mom always said I wasn’t allowed), had platinum blonde hair, went to tanning beds regularly, spent every Friday and Saturday night in frat houses drinking ungodly amounts of jungle juice, and spent plenty of time taking advantage of all that California has to offer.

And in honor of Miley’s not fully developed brain, here’s a gem from mine:

Does this picture say: future non-profit worker, level-headed adult, stable girlfriend, dog mama, drinker of just two glasses of wine a week, and girl who loves hanging out with her parents? Nope. But she’ll turn into that girl. 

So I’m trying my best not to judge Miley. I like her songs and frankly someone might be a little embarrassed that they googled “how to twerk”. Although now that I think about it, her performance was pretty much a tutorial. 


Today I’m excited to introduce you to Bri from Back to Bliss.

Bri is a Mama to Miss Ella, a teacher, and a fashionista. Her recent post about Fall Fashion Must Haves was exactly what I needed to become obsessed with the idea of a tortoise shell watch. Do you have little ones of your own? I bet you could use this post about road tripping with a 1 year-old. She also proved that she’s the teacher I wish I’d had in school. She has a classroom twitter and instagram! Talk about relating to the students on their level. I love it.  

Bri is also a runner and wrote a fabulous guest post on my blog called How to Get Into Running if you Hate Running. To date it is one of my most read posts and it’s a must read if you hate running too! Now head on over and visit Bri or follow her on Bloglovin

  • I mean, she’s 20 years old, she’s trying to reinvent her brand, and she’s looking to Madonna and Gaga as role models on how to create that edgier, sexier brand. I feel like all those Disney-turned-mainstream-pop stars go through a phase like this. I’m judging her more for her bad dancing skills than the actual performance. She could’ve made it awesome and really sexy if she’d put a little more effort into it rather than letting it feel like trashy dance improv.

  • I agree with Stephanie. I almost feel as if Disney ruins these stars in a way. They are MADE to be so perfect, role models etc, that once they are done they want to live the life every teenager got to live and they never did.

    On that note…I think she went a little too far with her performance. She could have toned it down a bit and still made the impression she wanted to make. 🙂

  • I’m gonna have to agree with Stephanie. If she had just put a little more effort into her performance it wouldn’t have been SO awful. Good lord, some of the choices my poor not fully developed brain made. Smh.

  • I don’t think Miley’s performance was really that big of a deal. Did I think it was a little vulgar? Yes! But was I personally offended by it in any way?! No! If you don’t like what she’s doing, don’t watch it, that’s my opinion on it. I’m getting so sick of all this “slut shaming” around mainly because I don’t think she crossed any moral boundaries or taboos…it was just a little too vulgar.
    I agree that we’ve all made choices that are a little risqué, I dressed as a Victoria’s Secret angel for Halloween one year…that means walking around from frat party to frat party in my underwear. Classy? No! But I don’t think anyone should be slut bashing me for it. Miley’s 20, gorgeous, rich and famous…obviously she’s going to make some mistakes

  • Agree! I made a post about it yesterday too. It’s a phase they all go thru, it’s really not a big deal.

  • L

  • Nicely put!! I feel the exact same way. I had similar thoughts while I was watching it but I never once thought about what I would do if everything I had done was broadcast like that. OH.MY.WORD. lol I cringe just thinking about some of those things!

  • THANK YOU! I’m not impressed with how Miley (and ROBIN THICKE!) behaved. It wasn’t tasteful or even cutting edge. Just gross. But I think you’re right. Everyone is going to do really stupid stuff sometimes. We all make HUGE mistakes and do things we shouldn’t. I’m just hoping that she eventually grows up. And Robin Thicke cause… he’s to blame too and he’s older and married for crying out loud.

  • haha GREAT point. we all make dumb decisions, she just makes dumber, more public ones.

  • Well .. while I agree with you, It wasn’t nearly as bad as people were saying it was (I watched it Monday afternoon) .. here’s an interesting post on it today. Let me know what you think.

  • Good for you – I can not help but judging, she is a mess!

    Sparkles and Shoes

  • I cant even imagine if half of the crap I got into at her age was made public. She is 20, lets all just remember how we were at 20 luckily we didn’t have the VMA’s to show our crap dancing skills haha

  • Loved this post! I can’t imagine if all of my decisions went public. Although, she will have A LOT of explaining to do to her future spawn. Like, for reals.

  • Oh yes, that performance was a train wreck, but I mean really, it is the VMA’s. People are all up in arms about it and I’m like, what did you expect? I’m not saying it was the right way to behave but seriously, Madonna, Britney, etc, shenanigans like this are ALWAYS on the VMA’s.

  • I like you perspective. I’m sure her handlers and PR people okayed the performance. Robin Thicke seemed to go along with it. And they’re all adults past 25. No one is perfect 🙂

  • I totally agree with this post! Her performance was a complete train wreck. The girl is clearly a mess and will probably regret a lot of her decisions, but she is young and stupid. It made me super glad that my shenanigans at the age were not out for the world to see that’s for sure!

    Mackenzie at

  • While I was grossed out by her “performance”, what you’re saying is so true. Some of my worst moments were never captured in photos and video and I thank the good lord every day they will never be made public! Unfortunately Miley isn’t so lucky. It’s not exactly her ‘fault’ if you will

  • I think that she just cracked under all of the pressure that she has been put under for her whole life. Have you seen her brother Trace Cyrus? He was from that band Metro Station. I’m sure that their whole family felt pressured to be perfect. Great post!

    Reviews Until You Drop

  • oh man I have to many issues with Miley and her fiasco.
    but my main issue: Salvia? SALVIA? Seriously, we know the deal Miley. But then again, I’m surprised that stuff is legal because apparently it is waaaay more intense than what she claims to not be smoking.
    off topic? 🙂

  • I’m afraid to compile all of my “gems”. But you’re right…definitely a different way to look at it. We were all that girl in one way or another.

  • that is definitely a good point. i can’t believe how much attention she is getting – which i’m sure is just what she wanted!

  • haha absolutely true – especially because the part of the brain that isn’t fully developed is your frontal lobes (the part right behind your forehead), which are responsible for inhibition… haha, you know that part of your brain that says “heyyyyy miley, maybe that’s not such a good idea…”

  • I see your point. I still think she is gross and pushed the limit. But that is what famous people do. I just wish everyone would stop talking about her!! Ha! P.S. so glad there were no cell phones or social media when I was in college!!!!

  • Oh, the embarrassment that is college. But maybe that’s the problem. These poor kids don’t have a college fraternity basement to do these things- they have the VMA’s.

  • Thank you for highlighting me on a day that you’re talking about poor choices. You should’ve linked to my post about living in the frat house!

  • Oh Miley. I used to be SO ‘team miley’ but now I’m just mildly annoyed by her. I’m all for the exploring your sexuality and doing whatever you want to do – just do it for the right reasons. Everything that she was doing was cool until she said for her music she wanted “Something urban, something that feels black. Black is trendy.” I can deal with the grinding, the sticking the tongue out, and all that but I can’t deal with the stupid comments lol.

    And I’m sad that now the world thinks that what she does is twerking, cause it’s really not! lol.

    Also I think more people should be talking about Robin’s role in this and why he thinks it’s okay to let this young girl grind all over him while his wife sits in the front row. That’s not okay!!!!

    Aright, Miley rant over and out haha 🙂

    Zauni | The Kind Side

  • I really like your perspective! We’ve all done something we aren’t proud of, but most of us don’t have it displayed for millions to see…

  • Agreed! I would not want to display what I did from 18-21 for the whole world to see.

  • There are OH-so many embarrassing pictures of me from freshman-sophomore years of college. I thought I was the “bad girl”. I thought it was über cool not to have a curfew. I thought I’d show the world how awesome I was. Gah — I was LAMER than LAME.

    Reealllyyy grateful I didn’t have cameras in my face constantly during those growing pains. Now I’m an attorney. Yeah, people grow up.


  • I think I was one of the few that was thinking “did no one expect this” I wasn’t that outraged by her performance… I mean I didn’t expect her to come out in dress pants and a blouse, haha 🙂

  • P.

    I could judge Miley all day long but I can’t see her. Her tongue is in the way.


    Ana Paula
    {Visit me at Mommyhood, PhD}

  • I LOVE your perspective! It is so true, I wouldn’t want to have some of my “finer” moments in college broadcasted on TV, and surely I wasn’t grinding on teddy bears, BUT, the same judgement would probably pass one me. Great perspective!

  • Most of us have done things we would rather forget about but those who live in the public eye will find these things to come back to haunt them when they would rather forget.

  • Impressive and fresh new perspective, I like it.

  • I think there is a difference between being young, having fun and making some mistakes and full blown spiraling out of control, which is where I think she’s going. Not that it’s all her fault, I mean she had others putting together the show that were more concerned with how much hype it would create and money it would make (upcoming album, media, yada yada). Not everyone around her has her best interest at heart, mix that with being 20 and having literally anything you want at your finger tips, shit’s gonna get real and it’s gonna get real fast.


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