Allow Me to Confess Some Things

I like real confessionals. Not like, “OMG I confess that I’m SO excited for Pumpkin Spice Lattes!” No. Just no. A confession in this sense should be something embarrassing or surprising or at the very least, interesting. Today, I’ll take a shot at a confessional…

We definitely don’t wash our bath towels enough. You’re clean when you use them, right? Sheets always take priority and then we inevitably run out of quarters. Excuses, excuses. We’re just gross.

I use expressions like “” and “see you later alligator”  “know what I mean, jelly bean” and “okie dokie artichokie” all the time in real life. Damn, I’m cool.

Now that I work in a children’s hospital, I find it acceptable to do things that might be questionable in the professional world. Like wear a Disney princess sticker on my blazer all day. Or rave to my boss about the armadillo I just met when the zoo came to the hospital. Or walk around practically glowing because a 5-year-old told me I looked like Princess Elsa (the ultimate compliment).

Taking selfies alone is awkward. Taking selfies with dogs is normal.
Taking selfies alone is awkward. Taking selfies with dogs is normal.

I always forget about photobooth on my computer and when I opened it recently, I discovered only selfies of me and dogs (including some that aren’t mine).

I have never bought a single item at Anthropologie or West Elm. I don’t get Anthro guys, I really don’t. I went in there and I was like, what are they trying to do with this? Everything looks “vintage” but is twice as expensive as something that is new. And seriously? A $36 candle? Are you out of your effing mind?!

I’m heading to the Made in America music festival in Philly tomorrow and I don’t know what to wear to a music festival. Anything outside of either work attire or jeans and a t-shirt is right over my head. HELP.

Also, I’m not really a music person (Yes, that’s a thing. I don’t love listening to music.) so a music festival is probably the wrong place for me. File this under FOMO. All our friends are going and I didn’t want to miss out.

I sort of judge people who buy Starbucks every single day. Like 1. You spend $5 a day on a beverage and 2. That is basically a dessert. I mean, do what you want with your money (and your calories) but just one every weekday adds up to $100 a month. Seems not so brilliant to me.

I’m so distracted by my fear of flying that I can’t fully be excited about my two upcoming trips to California. I’ll be so excited once I get there. I just want to get there (alive).

Sometimes I see really cute pregnant woman and I just know I won’t be one of them. I promise you, when that time comes, I will gain so much weight in my face and it will be horrendous.

I basically don’t need to use email for work at all anymore. My work is all face-to-face. It’s AWESOME. Like, if I don’t check my work email for one day, nothing happens. Okay, I’m basically bragging at this point. Even better? I only spend about 2 hours a day in front of a computer. I think I’ve found my place in the world.

That’s all for today, folks.

  • This is the best!! I want to be able to ignore work email (and texts!)… $5 for Starbucks EVERYDAY would kill my soul. The calorie count though… RIDICULOUS. And dog selfies? Totally acceptable. (I have them too.)

  • Dog selfies seem a lot easier than cat selfies! or maybe my cats just hate me… wow at you getting told you look like Elsa, what a compliment that is! this post made me smile:)

  • Can I just give a big fat AMEN to all of these? Except if I don’t check my email, the world basically implodes. And I don’t have a dog to join me for selfies, so that gets lonely.

  • YES! Thank you!! Finally someone speaks the truth about Anthropologie. I hate that place! If I want my clothes to look like they came from the thrift store, I’ll just go to the thrift store. And I’m with you on the preggo thing…I will not be cute pregnant, I will be “holy shit look how much she gained” pregnant. It’s inevitable.

  • Haha, I cracked up at your confession about your bath towels! Last night I made my boyfriend do his sheets and towels in one load, and they still weren’t dry by midnight, so we slept on his bare mattress under his duvet insert that had no cover (because it was in the wash too). Also the pictures on my phone are mostly me trying to take selfies with my cat and her running away.

    xo Julie

  • V

    I literally laughed out loud when I got to the sentence ‘We definitely don’t wash our bath towels enough.’ Ha! Now THAT’S a confession my friend!

    Dog selfies? Totally and completely normal. Can’t beat a good selfie with your dog. I’ve been addicted to the new Hyperlapse app. Now I’m filming my conversations with her….normal? Maybe not. I don’t care.

    Have an awesome loooong weekend!


  • You know you totally could do the perfect Elsa cosplay… Do I sense a Halloween costume coming?

  • The ironic this is that there was an Anthropologie ad for me waiting at the end of this post … Love it!

  • These are all so good!!! I’m still nervous posting single selfies but when it’s with my dog all anyone is looking at is my dog, right?! I lol’d at the Anthropologie one, sometimes I just like to walk over to the home goods section and pretend it’s my house for a good minute or two, But then I get sad and leave. Way too overpriced!

  • I’m glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t give towels their proper attention. I think the only thing I’ve ever bought at Anthro is a coffee mug. And even that was extravagant. Can’t do it. And don’t get me started on Starbucks…do these people have a magic Starbucks money tree? Ah, it feels good to get some confessions out.

  • I cannot fathom paying $5 every day for coffee. It’s…coffee.

    One month I ate out at Quiznos every day for lunch. Then B pointed out that I was basically subsidizing their business. Never again did I eat out for lunch more than 2x week while working.

  • Those dog selfies made me giggle so much! Amazinggg xx

  • I’m jealous about the email. I’m pretty much attached to a computer all day.

    I don’t wash my towels often enough either. It’s a problem.

  • I am so guilty of using the above expressions, as well as “after a while crocodile” or “see you soon racoon”. I think it keeps people on their toes because they never know what you’ll say next. Also, all the dog selfies are great 😀

  • Hold the fort! I’m totally guilty of all those sayings too!!! I say take it easy lemon squeezy.. or don’t trip chocolate chip… and toodles canoodles…

  • Love how excited you are about this new gig of yours 🙂 Can tell that you’re just so happy with it!! And I totally see the Elsa resemblance now that you bring it up – spot on!

  • I use to buy Starbucks a lot (I’m not a coffee person, tea is my jam) but then I became poor so that stopped really fast. Now I really only buy it as a reward for something, like after a really stressful day (filled with emails) or out with friends.

    Also, it’s kind of obnoxious and worrying how many pictures I take of my cats every day. I’m sure a psychologist would tell me I have A LOT of issues and then proceed to admit me to the psych ward. 🙂

  • I’m so with you on the dog selfies on my photo booth! Mine are the same 🙂 Except for a series of Warby Parker sunglasses I was trying on, trying to figure out which one I was going to keep. Gotta delete those…

    Also, re: Anthro. THANK YOU. I, too, have never understood that store. Not for lack of trying. I’ve stopped in at least a dozen times in my life, always hoping each time will be different. Nope. Still a bunch of impractical hipster nonsense marked up, oh, 5,000%.

  • How this was a bloody great post

  • the anthro stores closed here, they had some great sales before they did

  • totally with you on the Starbucks thing. my boss goes almost every day and always asks the team if we want to go and I often say yes because I don’t want to miss out on the bonding opportunity, but I also want to be like “so… can I have a raise to pay for all of these drinks, please?”

  • Anthro is my favorite place to “dream shop” but not buy anything. And I am with you with the sheets / towels, work out cloths always take priority!

  • Hahaha this is BRILLIANT! I love Photobooth. My housemates and I have folders and folders of insane selfies with it haha.

    And FYI, I can TOTALLY see the Elsa comparison!!! xx

    Little Miss Katy | UK Lifestyle & Fashion

  • When I had to drive 18 minutes to work instead of 5 I would stop at Starbucks or the donut store for a coffee almost every day because I got bored during the drive and needed something to do with my hands. You know, other than STEERING. I have always been exceptionally smart, in case you were wondering.

  • Being told I look like Elsa would be the greatest day of my life! Granted… I just watched a special about Frozen on ABC about five minutes ago and I’m all teary and misty eyed. So that might why I feel this way.

  • I too am a judger of people who waste money on expensive coffee.

    I went to my first music festival last year and had no idea what to expect or wear. Plus it was cold and rainy. For some reason I thought it would be appropriate to wear a cardigan…it wasn’t.

  • haha I def dont wash my bath towels as often as I should either! Whoops!

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