I Am My Boyfriends Only Girlfriend

I know what you’re thinking. I should hope that you are his only girlfriend! What does he have, multiple girlfriends? Nope. It’s just that I’m the only person who has ever been N’s girlfriend. I’m my boyfriends only girlfriend. Ever.


Today, I see this as a privilege. As a “bonus” to my already amazing boyfriend, I also have zero ex’s to deal with. He was a dating clean slate. I didn’t always feel this way.

Let’s start with a little background. When N was in high school, he was painfully shy. This continued through the beginning of college. He was (and is) a sweet, thoughtful guy. Girls loved him but usually not in that way. To put it bluntly, he was in the friend zone a lot. He also may or may not have been 30 pounds heavier than he is now. I’m not saying that’s a terrible thing. I’m just saying it probably didn’t help.

After his sophomore year of college, he hit the gym and lost a ton of weight. He got all fit and started eating healthy and wouldn’t you know? Girls started to notice him. But it took a while. He was still their friend N, and it wasn’t really until Senior year that girls started to show more interest. Sure, he dated casually. But never anything serious.

Fast forward to when we met, five months out of college. Still that shy guy, I had to force myself upon him. Don’t worry, he liked it. But it basically took me jumping up and down and waving a sign that said “I LIKE YOU” for him to be like “oh, she likes me”. Not really, but you get the idea. He just didn’t get it. It’s almost like he friend zoned himself, just by assuming that he was already in the friend zone. But I hadn’t put him in the friend zone, for obvious reasons (re: Persian good looks). So while we were friends for a few months, pretty soon we were friends who liked to make out. Now we are best friends, dog parents, roommates, and life partners.

None of this changes the fact that I’m still the only person who has been, or will ever be, N’s girlfriend. When we started dating this worried me. If he didn’t know what a normal relationship was like, how would he know if he liked being in a relationship with me? I had several serious boyfriends before N and I knew that what we had was great. Would he know for sure that what we had was great when he had nothing to compare it to? Turns out, when something is right, you know it. Whether you’ve experienced it before or not.

To quote N on the matter “I just know I got it right on my first try.” Touché, mister. Touché.

So I guess what I’d like to remind all the ladies out there in search of a guy is this: that guy that you put in the friend zone? He’ll probably be the best husband, and the best father. He’ll probably treat you the way you deserve to be treated. He’ll make you feel special. And he’ll feel lucky to be with you. And you will be lucky to be with him. Now when I look back, I wish that instead of dating the many, many jerks I have dated, that I had realized just how attractive and wonderful those guys I’d put in the friend zone actually were.

  • Aww, how cute!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

  • Awh, that is totally cute. When my daughter was in school I also used to tell her the exact same thing..that guy who is ur best friend, he will make a far better boyfriend than the jerks that love themselves and all the girls throw themselves at. Thankfully she listened (eventually!!)

  • I love this! Such a sweet honor! I love that he said he got it right on his first try…presh.

  • My husband and I were each other’s first and only real relationships. I consider it such a privilege!

  • This is so sweet! I love your perspective on it, and he’s so right – he just got it right on the first try. Some people just do!

  • I’ve only ever dated my husband. I was 20 when we met. I was not a super romantic waiting for the right guy; I just never felt compelled to date any of the guys I encountered along the way.

  • My husband was my first and only boyfriend–and we started out as friends for a year and a half before we got together. I was totally NOT his first girlfriend, he’d been a heartbreaker since middle school, and had a girlfriend for quite a while after I met him. I think I would love it if I were his first girlfriend and there was no ex-awkwardness….but I’m happy with the fact that I’m his last girlfriend AND because we became friends while he had a girlfriend, I got to know him when he wasn’t trying to impress me at all.

  • You’re so lucky that there are no ex-gf’s in the picture. my boyfriend has a crazy ex-gf and even though they’ve been broken up for 4 years, she still sometimes will call him at like 2 am…SO annoying.

  • I am kyle’s first girlfriend too! he always said he knew what he wanted and he wasn’t going to waste his time on the wrong girl. sure, he talked to girls here and there but nothing serious, like N. i definitely had the same questions about kyle and was scared that I was his first girlfriend but it’s obviously worked out for the best 🙂 I’m glad I’m what he wanted!

  • OMG – I didn’t know we had this in common! I was Eric’s first kiss & his only girlfriend too. Sometimes I feel REALLY guilty about it, but it also makes me feel pretty special 🙂

  • My husband was friend zoned for five years while I dated this really terrible guy, one night I was crying to him about my horrible ex and he blurted out that I was a great girl and how he’s liked me all these years. Best decision I will ever have made in my life EVER was dumping my ex and dating Dave. Friends make the best lovers!

  • Ah…you guys look really cute together. 😉


  • This is so sweet – but gahhh, what are you going to do with all those amazing Internet stalking skills if you don’t have any crazy ex-gf’s to stalk?! 😉 😛

  • Lix

    I’m going to be the inappropriate weirdo who comes in here just to say “whoa, he looks hot in that picture.” (As for everything else, whatever works for you, is my motto. But I hate the term ‘friend zone’ and the idea that women owe every guy who’s nice to them a chance. Maybe she’s just not into you! Deal with it.) (Also, I will eventually be the inexperienced weirdo in a relationship, too. That should be fun.)

  • This is so sweet. i can totally relate to being really shy. Glad you were brave enough to make him pay attention. 🙂

  • Sometimes I read your posts and think “this girl and I have such a similar life” and this was one of those posts. I was Dylan’s first girlfriend too, and I went through the same concerns you did. And, you’re totally right- he is the most perfect boyfriend and partner a girl could ask for. I hope more girls start seeing how great the “friend zoned quiet one” really is!

  • “I just know I got it right on my first try.” – I love that! I know what you mean about looking back at the guys you friend-zoned. If I would have dated them instead of the d-bags I wound up with I would have been so much happier! But, you live and you learn eventually. Thank goodness I have a great guy now!!

  • Love this!!!! You got yourself a keeper for sure!!!!

  • This is so cute! I loved this post 🙂

  • I love this! I am in the same boat. too cute!

  • I think its impossible to put a guy who has persian good looks in the friend zone. He clearly got the smartest girl. Also love his comment at the end. He’s a total keeper.

  • I’m 25% persian and I have to say when you find a good looking one grab him! Because they certainly are not all looking like N! 🙂

  • What he says about you is just about the sweetest thing ever! Nice guys are good!

  • I can’t tell you how much I love this post and this insight into your relationship with N. Because I’m a lot like him – I haven’t had a serious boyfriend before. It terrifies me that guys are going to judge me for it. They’re going to think I won’t know what to do in a relationship (like anyone does) and my inexperience in everything dating will be a hinderence. Heck, I’ve worried about that! It’s actually really been on my mind lately and reading this was perfect. Thank you so much!

  • I am my boyfriends only girlfriend as well. He was nerdville/painfully shy all the years other people were dating then settling down. Everyone told me “red flag!”, but it’s been almost 3 years now. 🙂

  • You’re so right about the guys we’ve placed in the friendzoned category as being potentially the best guys around, but it can be hard to over look the reasons you’ve placed them in the friendzone. Does that make sense? Or am I just over thinking things like I always do?

  • This is so sweet. My husband had never had a serious relationship before me, and I always thought {initially}, that it was weird, but it’s been great. He wasn’t shy, but more outgoing and like, “Hey I like you, let’s not play games”, unlike other guys I had seriously dated, which was a huge and {very} welcome change 🙂

  • I think it’s really sweet that you are N’s first girlfriend EVER. I can see why it would be a little concerning in the beginning, but really it’s kind of cool.

    And I love this post. Good reminder not to count out those awesome guys (and girls) that are such good friends.

  • Z

    Haha, this is so funny! My boyfriend actually has several ex’s…not as fun, let me tell you. I only have one “major” boyfriend of the past, but it’s still strange to think about being someone’s only longterm girlfriend. You’re a lucky lady!

  • This is the cutest post ever. Well, of course, if he picked you, he got it completely right!


  • This is the actual cutest thing ever. I’m really happy for you :] And my boyfriend is Turkish…gotta love those dark and handsome men from that region of the world ;] THE BEST of all facial hair.

  • I know I’m SUPER late to this post – it’s proof that your sidebar links works 🙂 but I was Jon’s first GF too and it totally freaked me out for the first six months or so of our relationship. I knew he knew we had a good thing, but how could he know it was better than other things if he hadn’t tried them? what if there was a better thing out there for him but he thought our thing was the best because he had nothing to compare it to? AH! but he eventually wore me down and was like THIS IS THE BEST THING SHUT UP so I did 🙂 really glad I’m not the only first girlfriend to have had those crazy thoughts!

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