Between Selfish and Supportive


A few weeks ago, N started a new job. And not just any job. He started the job. It’s a big step up and it’s a wonderful accomplishment and I’m so proud of him.


But…(you knew that was coming, didn’t you?)

The hours are crazy long – 50-60 hour work weeks. This weekend he worked. Saturday and Sunday. Zero weekending was had by N. Meanwhile at home, Archie and I moped about, watched Harry Potter (and the Chamber of Secrets, in case you were wondering), went to Target (duh), played in the snow, cleaned, watched Beautiful Creatures (surprisingly good), and abused Pinterest (and in case you missed it, my blog resources board is stellar). Selfishly, I missed N the whole time. It’s no surprise that weekends our generally our time. I don’t need as much me time as I got this weekend. I really don’t.

This won’t be the first weekend I spend alone. In fact, it will happen more and more as N works his way up the ladder (so to speak). He’s proving himself. He is sacrificing his time now to be able to provide more financial stability for us in the future. Hell, to provide more stability now.

Right now I feel like I’m walking the line of being selfish and being supportive. We live in a completely regular apartment and aren’t really big spenders. We are content with that. We don’t want a big house. Buying a house isn’t really on the agenda for the next few years. If I never drive anything other than a used Honda, I’ll be a-okay. I’ll never own a handbag that costs more than $100 (I think the most I’ve ever paid is $30). And I’ll never value money over time.

So while I’m proud of him for making these sacrifices now, I jokingly remind him that I loved him when he was poor. That spending time with him is what is important. That when we have kids, I’d rather have him home in time for dinner. I’d rather have him be able to coach soccer and go on family walks and help with bath time.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’d rather have N be around more than be wealthy. I see value in being comfortable financially. In being secure. I’m just not willing to sacrifice life’s precious moments to have “all the best” things in life. Because the best things aren’t luxury cars and McMansions and investments and wealth.

The best thing is that feeling the moment he walks through the front door and your heart leaps out of your chest because you’re just so glad to see him. Because now your dingy little apartment feels so much more like home.

Since I work such amazing hours (11-6), I’m doing my best to be the best “house girlfriend” (ahem, my version of housewife) I can be. I’ve seen all of those blog posts out there “30 days of being a better wife” etc. I’m doing my own version of that. I’m going to do my best to make sure that when he is home that I am recognizing and thanking him for the sacrifices he is making for our future. I’m packing his lunches, ironing his shirts, and taking over more household chores. And the biggest thing? I’m going to try not to nag. Period.  He deserves the very best version of me and that’s what he’s going to get.

How’s that for a mushy start to Monday?

Linking up with Meg


Today I’m excited to introduce you to Amber from Mr. Thomas and Me.

mr t and me

As someone who will make the leap in the next few years, reading Ambers post called Marriage Isn’t Our Everything was a wonderful and refreshing viewpoint. She was also brave enough to share her recent weight loss and decided that skinny doesn’t feel so good. Amber has a large tattoo on her arm and boldly shared the time when a random stranger told her she “ruined herself.” Amber’s response is the absolute best and most heartfelt explaination for getting a tattoo that I’ve ever read. Want to see more of Amber? You can follow her on Bloglovin or hit her up on Twitter.

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