Apartment Living Etiquette for Dummies

Our apartment complex is very green. In between each building we’ve got sprawling lawns and wooded areas, great for dog walking (and there are many around these parts). It’s a family friendly place, and it just so happens that it’s basically me and N and 200 Indian families. That’s no exaggeration. I may be the only white girl in this apartment complex. My only beef (terrible choice of expression with this crowd) with this is that the whole place smells like curry and, as a lover of Indian food, it’s torture walking around our apartments around dinnertime. Someone invite me over, please!?

Last Thursday I came home from work to find N walking Archie, surrounded by no less than 10 children. N gets home at 4:45, peak play hour for the kids of our complex. They’ve become quite popular since we moved in two months ago. The kids are all infatuated with Archie and N was trying to keep him from knocking them over like bowling pins. They hesitate to pet him, then lurch forward to pat his fluffy head, then get scared and pull back, shrieking with excitement. This only gets Archie more riled up as he darts from kid to kid, wrapping N in his leash trap of death in the process.

This is all fine and good. I want Archie to get used to kids because in his lifetime, we’ll have them. My hope is that by the time we do that he’s calmed down a bit but either way, these kids are great practice.

So eventually we settle in for the evening and Archie is catching some zzz’s while we watch TV. Suddenly a cluster of kids appear at our slider knocking on the glass. Umm what now? I crack open the glass…”Is Archie here?” No, I’m sorry kid, Archie joined a street gang and now he’s out getting tattoos, racketeering, and generally being a hooligan. We are both clearly home, where else would he be? Instead I said “Yes, he’s here, but now really isn’t a good time. Maybe another day?” The kids slumped off sadly and left me to feel guilty about my un-fun Mom status.

But here’s the bigger question: at what point do kids learn proper apartment etiquette? I thought it was a generally accepted rule in apartments that even if someone has their blinds open, you don’t just glare into their home. And you definitely don’t just walk up and start knocking.

Other proper apartment etiquette includes:

1. Switch your laundry in a reasonable amount of time. Laundry hogs suck.
2. Pick up your dog doo. Duh.
3. Be friendly and learn some names. Smile at people. If you are drinking on your patio and start a nice chat, offer your neighbor a beer.
4. If you are going to smoke weed and stink up the whole place, at least invite your neighbors over occasionally Febreeze the hallways or something.

Pretty much common sense, right? But at this point I think we’ve set the precedent for friendliness and chances are, the kids will be back. What can I say? Archie is just a popular kid.

Latest from Instagram

Copyright © 2018 · Theme by 17th Avenue