8 Things That Happen When You Get Engaged

8 Things That Happen When You Get Engaged #engagement #marriage #ring #engagementring #wedding

1. Within moments someone will ask you “so when are you getting married?” At first this question will be fun but quickly it will annoy you and/or give you anxiety.

2. People from all eras of your life will pop up out of nowhere to congratulate you. On top of already feeling super loved, you’ll hear from so many people and that loving feeling will just overwhelm you. You also might get a congratulation or two from people who it’s just awkward to get a congratulation from. Umm, thanks?

3. Someone will make an assumption about being invited to your wedding. Whether it’s a Facebook comment of “can’t wait for the wedding!” or an in-person, unavoidable “I’m invited to the wedding, right?”, someone is bound to think they’re on the list when they aren’t. You’ll quickly perfect the art of smiling and changing the subject.

4. You’ll do a little research and realize that all those people who said weddings were expensive were absolutely right. Even with a tiny guest list, the bill gets not tiny real fast.

5. Picking the color of your manicure will suddenly feel like a life or death decision. Red? Pale pink? Gold with glitter? I CAN’T DECIDE.

6. There will be one picture of your ring that is just perfection. Then you’ll use that one over and over again. See above.

7. You will still have to empty the dishwasher, do the laundry, and pick up dog poo (with that new sparkler on your hand). Basically, life keeps happening even though it kind of feels like it shouldn’t, just for a little while. Following our engagement brunch, N told me that his Mom was in town and we immediately spent an hour cleaning our apartment to make it acceptable for visitors (note: we are not clean people).

8. Your relationship might just be exactly the same as it was before. Maybe the only thing that’s different is that thing on your finger. If you are anything like us, this is exactly as you want it to be.

I’d try to promise to not to keep posting about engagement/wedding stuff but I don’t like to make promises I can’t keep. That cheerful, holiday feeling might be over but the “we just got engaged” feeling is 100 times better and just hasn’t stopped.

  • Yes, yes, yes to ALL of the above! (And BTW: Congrats on your engagement!!!!)

    • Thank you so much! It kind of took over Christmas for us this year but that’s a-okay with me 🙂

  • Congratulations! and that picture of your ring is perfection 🙂

    • Thank you! Wouldn’t you know that the best picture I’ve taken so far (that one) would be with an old iphone while walking the dog? I guess it’s just all about the lighting.

  • This is exactly how I felt when I got engaged! Then, once being married it becomes “when are you going to have kids?” ….hello, wait a hot two seconds here. I’ve been married for four seconds. Good luck with your wedding planning, enjoy it and don’t stress!

    • I’ve definitely heard that before. I totally get that people wonder if we’ve started planning or (and especially because we live together) had plans in place already. It’s nice that people are interested but it’s overwhelming a bit.

  • Hahah YES all of these things definitely happened to me too..

  • On #3, my sister always said that they were havin an intimate wedding so the guest list is small or mentioned how large our family is.

    I’m eloping so I’m a little happy I get to skip out on some of these awkward ones. Also I love hearing about all your engagement/wedding stuff.

    • We are definitely having a small wedding so I’m sure at some point I’ll be forced to tactfully share that our wedding is very small and only family and the closest of friends were invited.

      I was definitely down to elope or do a city hall thing but surprisingly N really wants a wedding. I guess we’re kind of opposites from the usual couple.

  • love number 8!

    • I was told by others that our relationship might feel “so much different, more committed, once you get engaged.” NOPE. We were committed before. Now we just have a party to plan.

  • Kim

    Haha yep. I was most disturbed by the “can’t wait for your wedding!” Comments from people I’ve never met. Like, no, sorry, if I don’t know you, you can’t come.

    • Right?! Who makes that assumption!? I always assume, even with friends, that I may not get invited and say nothing about it until I get an invitation in the mail.

  • That “asking if their invited” thing is sooo awkward. I’m assuming just as awkward as assuming they are in the bridal party. Eep!
    As a rule of thumb, I just pretend I’m not invited until I’m told that I am. Weddings are expensive so not every “hey I just met you” is going to get invited. Plus sometimes people have delusions about how close they are to the couple lol. I’d rather be surprised when I get the invite. “Oh, little ol’ me! Oh you shouldn’t have (though I’m really glad you did)!

    • I do the exact same thing. I pretend I’m not invited until I am told explicitly that I am or when I get an invitation in the mail.

      I made the assumption when my best friend got engaged that I may not be in the bridal party. She made the assumption that I knew I’d be in the bridal party. For months we danced around the issue until one day she said something about my bridesmaids dress and I was like “so I am a bridesmaid?” and she was like “of course you are! Didn’t you assume you were?” I didn’t. Now I’m explicitly inviting my bridal party (including her) so there is no confusion.

  • Love your ring (and your middle finger ring-details?)! One of the first people to text me congratulations was an old fling… ugh thanks? For me it was the bachelorette party everyone and their mom assumed they were going to be invited to, so I just gave in and had 20 girls there and it was a blast.

    • Middle finger ring is one I got months ago from Nordstrom Rack. I wear it all the time, though friends keep telling me I should take it off and let my engagement ring be the center of attention on my left hand.

      And that’s exactly who I was referencing with the awkward congratulations. Um, I don’t need to hear from any ex’s about how happy they are for me. No thanks.

  • That’s a beautiful ring!! And such a true list – #3 was such a tightrope! Especially considering #4…! Another one – you’ll feel bad creating a “B” list of invites…but you’ll get over it quickly ha!

  • Sooooo… when’s the wedding?! 😉 I kid, I kid!

  • Oh my goodness, I can only imagine. I remember my cousin being paranoid about getting her nails done every three days or as soon as they chipped to make sure no one saw her ring and got distracted by her nails – cray!

  • If you have a destination wedding (doesn’t have to be a tropical place, just somewhere you don’t live or have family living there), you can cut the numbers drastically. We got married 2 hours outside of Atlanta, and only had 88 adults and 13 kiddos. So, right around 100 people. It was the perfect amount and it didn’t get too crazy…just an idea.

  • All so true. And the best marriages are the ones that you described in #8.

  • Erin

    Yes all so true! I didn’t really get into wedding planning for months after we were engaged, I wasn’t ready to get bogged down by all the details yet, just wanted to bask and enjoy life for awhile. So when people would ask about when it would be, I would just say “oh we’re just enjoying being engaged right now.” Try not to stress about the random/inappropriate questions and comments, the vast majority of people have the best intentions but don’t necessarily have the best social skills 🙂

  • Beautiful ring! Its crazy how much changes once that ring is on your finger. Congrats!


  • don’t forget about the scary obsession that may start to surround ‘pinterest wedding ideas!” 🙂 congratulations and your ring is gorgeous!!

  • Oh yeah and all those people who want to look at your ring and those questions as to when the wedding is can drive you bat crazy

  • I love (sarcasm) when people ask if you have a date for the wedding the DAY AFTER you got engaged. Like, really?!

  • This is SPOT on….coming from a fellow engaged girl 🙂 I would love to add “so when are you going to have a baby?” to the list. COME ON…let me get married first! And yes, people assuming an invite? not cool at all!

  • JC

    Have you had someone assume that they are a bridesmaid yet? That one’s a rough conversation lol I also have had random people that I don’t really know (and aren’t invited), (friends parents I’ve met 2 times ever) ask me what they can do to help. So weird. I also had a few other engaged friends start comparing our rings in a not so nice way. Just because your ring is work more than a car doesn’t mean that I want to be walking around with that much responsibly on my hand ok?

  • Have you checked out Rock n Roll bride?


    Awesome blog dedicated to alternative weddings — sure to give you some non-weddingy inspiration!

    • OK…for some reason I added this to the wrong post — intended for 5 things for 2015…but you get my drift 😉

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