27 Things I Still Don’t Know

This weekend I reached in the medicine cabinet for a bottle of nail polish and instead, knocked down another bottle and sent it shattering all over the bathroom. Glass and nail polish everywhere.

Somehow, this was not the worst mess I made this week. That honor goes to the maple syrup (in a glass bottle, naturally) that I dropped in the kitchen, thereby making the most impressive mess of any mess I’ve ever made. Tiny shards of glass stuck in maple syrup all over the kitchen.

It’s times like these when I’m forced to consider that perhaps I suck at life. It’s when N reminds me, “at least you keep things interesting.” Sure, let’s go with that.

The blog world is really on a positivity kick lately and frankly, some days it’s irritating as hell. I’m a really positive person (I’m serious, I smile a freaking lot) and it’s still too much for me. Suddenly it feels like you can’t just be a “lifestyle blogger”, you have to be a “positive lifestyle blogger”.

Well hey, I blog about my life and sometimes life is super great and sometimes it’s not.

So today, let’s go a little opposite and I’m going to share some things I still don’t know, many of which I should have learned years ago. I don’t feel wise enough to share life wisdom. I just don’t. I’m only 27, after all. So here are 27 things I still don’t know…

Add to the list: how to care for tulips. These are the saddest tulips I ever did see.
Add to the list: how to care for tulips. These are the saddest tulips I ever did see.

1. How to peel an apple in one long curl. Damn you, Meg Ryan, for making me think this is possible.

2. That if you are on your last roll of toilet paper, you have to buy more that same day.

3. Whether you are or aren’t supposed to eat the white stuff on the outside of Brie cheese.

4. How to parallel park. I’ve lived in the city for 6 months now so avoiding this is an impressive accomplishment.

5. How to call Comcast and have a rational conversation that involves zero yelling. I promise, they are the only people I verbally abuse.

6. How to take constructive criticism as just that – constructive. I prefer to take everything super personally.

7. Added by N – How to make a playlist that doesn’t suck. I’d be pissed but he’s not wrong.

8. How to resist the urge to wear leggings instead of real pants. Leggings always win. Always.

9. How to become one of those people who likes working out. Or at least, how to believe people when they tell me they love working out. Mmmhm. Sure you do.

12. Why I like Coke better than Pepsi. I just do. And remember – I can tell the difference.

15. How to apply eyeshadow. I KNOW. Basic stuff, can’t do it. My Naked 2 Palatte is wasted on me.

17. How to become the person who drinks their coffee black. So hardcore.

18. The spelling of words with “ie” or “ei” in the middle. You can bet every time I use the word weird, I’ve tried it as wierd too, just to see if it looked well, weird.

21. Why I never ever leave enough time to finish getting ready in the morning, leaving me running in to work with a full face of makeup, minus the mascara. The mascara is the most important part!

22. On that note, why I’m perpetually 3 minutes late to everything. Always.

23. Why people with New Jersey plates are 63% more likely to cut you off in traffic.

24. How people can not like Harry Potter. This includes my lovely fiance. It’s obviously one of our biggest differences of opinion. I am completely right and he is completely wrong.

27. Which is which: astronomy/astrology. I know, it just takes me a minute and I’m never 100% confident I’m saying the right one.

Oh, did I skip a few numbers in there? I had good intentions but you know, as I got started I realized that the list of things I don’t know is infinitely long. It’s okay, at least I didn’t overwhelm you with too much positivity.

In other news, I CAN’T WAIT FOR TOMORROW. See you back here at 7am?



  • I like Coke better than Pepsi too. Pepsi is just too sweet!

    And my god, the positivity. The sickening, surely-it-must-be-fake, peppiness that (often seems rooted in religion) relies on the belief that “everything will just be ok in the end and it’s ALL for the best somehow.” I can’t even.

    P.S. Super curious about your reveal 🙂

    • Completely agree that it often seems rooted in religion. Being religious does not mean that you have to pretend that everything is perfect. In fact, maybe the more religious option would be to share flaws and mess ups. I just don’t understand this whole “positive lifestyle blog” movement. Life can be great and it can be not great. I liked it better when blogs were honest about that.

  • Wait… N DOESN’T LIKE HARRY POTTER?????? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? Sorry… I just had to get that out.

    And all of these things I saw myself nodding along to. I don’t know how to do ANY of the things you mentioned. I also hear ya on how everyone is super positive lately and sometimes you just aren’t. Right now, I’m in a time where life isn’t perfect and awesome and positive. And that’s okay.

    • I KNOW. When we met he had not read any of the books or seen any of the movies. He wouldn’t read the books so I made him watch all of the movies and he said he “still doesn’t get it”. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

      Life isn’t perfect right now for me either (far from it, actually) and I’d prefer a little honesty in blog world.

  • Allison

    #6 and #9, I am right there with you! YouTube has been my friend with eyeshadow application.

    • Here’s the stupid thing: i love watching makeup videos on youtube but never actually make it to the part where I try to do what they’re doing.

  • Heather H

    I don’t know how anyone can not like Harry Potter either. I’ve read all the books tons of times and my husband isn’t a reader, so he hasn’t. I wouldn’t say he doesn’t like them, but seeing each movie once just means that he doesn’t get ANY of my HP references such as “OMG I just wish I could apparate!!” haha. Can’t wait for the reveal tomorrow 🙂

    • I just make the references and go ahead and laugh at my own jokes. For every Harry Potter reference I make, he makes a Zelda joke so we’re kind of on even (nerdy) ground. I would do anything to get him to like (and read) Harry Potter though.

  • I wasn’t a fan of leggings until the last year or so. And now I understand the dilemma of, “I need to look like a normal human today, but my God leggings are just so easy and comfortable…” It’s the worst, especially on rainy and dreary days when all you want is just to be comfortable!

    Hint for #9: working out becomes “fun” when you enjoy the kind of workout you do. It’s never easy, but it does make getting through that workout more bearable!

    • The only kind of workout I’ve ever sort of enjoyed was zumba. Unfortunately in the city, the gyms that offer the best classes are also absurdly expensive. It’s hard to justify the cost when I could work out at home or go for a run for free.

  • Yes to 2, 4, 6, and 12. There’s a HUGE difference between Coke and Pepsi.

    • I’m so glad I took a blind taste test and proved to N (and to the world) that there is a freaking difference in taste. I could still gloat about it. lol

  • #24 WHAT?! And you’re still marrying him? haha, I’m always so surprised when I find out one of my friends doesn’t like Harry Potter. My man had never read the books when we met, so we spent our whole second year of dating reading the whole series to each other. I think I fall in love more every time he makes a Harry Potter reference.

    I’m pretty sure my list for this would be ridiculously long… like I don’t know how to sufficiently clean my house, or be on a sleep schedule, or follow a recipe.

    • I wish I could get N to do that. I feel like Harry Potter was such an essential part of childhood. Like HOW did you not read the books? My mom had to buy two copies so my brother and I wouldn’t kill each other over it.

  • Jlynn

    You had me laughing out loud with this! I am all in with so many of these you have no idea. Except I drink my coffee black…when I drink it, which is hardly ever. I get to coffee dates early so I can get hot chocolate and my friends don’t think I’m 5. Also- I just considered a few days ago adding peel an apple in one curly strip to my bucket list. Meg Ryan got me too girl.

  • YAY FOR TOMORROW! I can’t do many of these things either. Apples? Eye shadow? Nope.

  • totally agree that sometimes the positivity just keeps me in a bad mood longer. while this post made me smile as I can relate to a good amount of those! and I want to do a post like this sometime – i could make quite a list too!

  • Amen to all of those. I was peeling apples over the weekend and thinking about darn Meg Ryan. I’m sure it’s all lies made to make us feel bad.

  • How to parallel park! I will probably NEVER learn. Even in the dead of winter I will go out of my way and end up parking blocks away just so I don’t have to parallel park. I don’t know how people make it look like the easiest thing you can do driving. NO WAY.

  • PREACH. You know how I feel about Harry Potter. And my sister reprimanded me this weekend for wearing leggings as pants and made me go change. COOL IT, y’know? 😉

  • i am SO sad that N doesn’t like harry potter!!!!! i’m sure you’ve done everything to try and change his mind but keeeeep trying…alllllways (like snape says).

    i can’t parallel park either and i believe you should not eat the white part of the brie cheese, though my husband disagrees.

  • Man… I could repeat pretty much 90% of these. Especially the Harry Potter and perpetually 3 minutes late to everything ones…Whoops. I will say, however, that you should be eating the white stuff on the outside of Brie cheese. It’s equally delicious.

  • So I’m pretty sure I’m wired backwards or I just stopped caring, because I will wear leggings so much more now that I’m an “adult” than when I was in college. Which I feel like as a college student it was more generally accepted. But again, I think I just don’t give a crap anymore.

    And I like working out, like 3/4 of the way through and when I’m done. But beforehand? I want to find every excuse to get out of it. I’m dreading tomorrow night’s boot camp, my instructor Saturday was so much easier. Halfway through every like serious workout I want to vomit and fall on the ground and die.

  • 6, 9, 12 and 24. Can we talk about 9? I do believe that some people enjoy working out. However, I believe those same people are actually suffering from a form of addiction. They’re just like alcoholics or gambling addicts, only their self-abuse is in the form of exercise. My willpower to NOT exercise should be applauded.

  • There are definitely quite a few things that after 25 years I still cannot figure out — like how to style my hair. I can straighten it and put it in a ponytail, that is about it. I also haven’t the slightest idea how to do makeup — I can do the basics, but don’t even think about trying a smokey eye or winged eyeliner. I am also the worst when it comes to mailing packages. I am pretty sure I am always doing something wrong.

  • Leggins always do win! And us NJ drivers just have to cut people off… because you know, we’re from Jersey and think we are all that. LOL

  • Ok I learnt to drive in my 20’s it wasn’t till my 40’s that I mastered parallel parking.
    I also don’t know about eating the white stuff on the cheese, I do but maybe I shouldn’t, I don’t know
    I have not read Harry Potter or seen any of the movies, sorry go shoot me………..lol
    Leggings are so comfy and if worn with a long top or short dress then all good

  • Black coffee all the way!!!

  • There is definitely a lot I still haven’t mastered after 28 years – do my makeup, french braid my hair, drive. The list could go on but I think you get the picture, I’m such a noob at so many things!

  • I’ve lived in a city for 6 years now and just learned how to parallel park a few months ago – and it still makes me super anxious to actually try it! I really need to get better at it… it’s not as hard as it seems!

  • Don’t worry, no one can do #5 without yelling. NO ONE.

  • This is wonderful, I am right there with you on most of the things! I always sing “i before e except after c or when sounding like ‘ay’ like in neighbor or weigh” EVERY time I try to spell a word with ie or ei. My spelling would be so much more terrible than it already is without little jingles for every rule.

  • There is no way to call Comcast and not yell at them. Their customer service is always awful so I’m sure you’re not alone with that!! I agree with so many things on this list.

  • I love this post. It reminds me of a post that I have drafted right now called 10 things I learn the hard way everytime. I might start jotting down notes to mimic this one though. That brie thing still confuses me – and it usually ends up being decided by how hungry I am… oh, and your 3 minutes late at least beats my 7 minutes late for everything… at least we’re consistent?

  • Only 3 minutes late? That’s not bad at all. I’m always late. Way late.

    I don’t get people who don’t love HP. They’re clearly wrong.

  • I feel the same way! Must be a 27 club thing 🙂

Latest from Instagram

Copyright © 2018 · Theme by 17th Avenue