13 Wedding Things I’m Just Not Into

When you get engaged the first thing people ask you (literally, within hours of being engaged and before you’ve had a chance to Google a single thing), is “So when are you getting married?” And the answer to that, my friends, is I have no effing clue.

I have not been good at figuring out what I like or what I want (what we like, what we want). But let’s be honest, the bride kind of steers the ship on this one.

Photo by Honor Photo Bar, Licenced under CC
Photo by Honor Photo Bar, Licenced under CC, click for source

What I have figured out, is that most traditional wedding stuff just isn’t us. I’m not into it. I LOVE going to other people’s weddings. I just don’t want a weddingy wedding for us. It’s not us. Oh, and it’s expensive.

So far I’ve just figured out what I (we) just aren’t into.

1. Veils. Maybe I’ll fall in love once I put one on, but I’m thinking this might be too weddyingy for me. My bestie didn’t wear a veil when she got married in October and it didn’t for one second feel like anything was missing.

2. Bouquet tosses. But I’ve already shared my thoughts on that one.

3. First dances. We need not be dancing in front of a large crowd. Trust me.

4. Garters. NOPE.

5. Any mention of “start their lives together”. We already started it. See living together, having a dog, and being life partners already.

6. Things being matchy matchy. I mean, have you seen my house? I’m clearly not a matchy matchy kind of girl. Also, it seems like I shouldn’t make my 26-year-old bestie and my 14-year-old sister wear the same dress.

7. Registries. I’m confused about what to register for or why when we’ve already lived together for 2 years and have decent stuff. I really want a waffle maker. That’s literally all I’ve come up with so far. Oooh and Rollerblades! I might change my mind about this one because, well, PRESENTS.

8. Bridal Showers. See #7. I’m so confused. Also, my people are spread out. The wedding will be what brings us together.

9. Cake. Does it taste good? Is it buttercream? That’s the extent of what I care about regarding cakes. It’ll be a sheet cake from Costco because that’s how much I just don’t care.

10. Feeling pressure to invite everyone. N and I both have pretty large families. Am I going to go into debt to invite my second cousin who I see every other Christmas? No.

11. A religious influenced ceremony. We aren’t religious so this is a no brainer.

12. Chairs for the ceremony. I’m not convinced that people need to sit down for a ceremony that is under 10 minutes.

13. Referring to Save the Dates as STDs. You guys, people do this. Kills me every time. I am not mature enough to handle some girl in a wedding forum talking about how she’s “omg so stressed about her STDs”.

Want to try to convince me to wear a veil? Is there something traditional we absolutely should include? Help a girl out cause I’m pretty clueless about where to start.

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